Lonely World
by Lil-Miss-Shy-AmyH
Summary: Peyton Sawyer was his soul mate and forever their love was true, pure and simple and he would never let go. Okay so I suck at summaries, there's more inside...


**So I was listening to 'Lonely World' by Bryan Greenberg the other day and was inspired for a Peyton/Lucas oneshot, this is my first fic. It's set after the school shooting in season 3 and is my take on an incounter between Lucas and Peyton, some of the dialouge is from the show but most of it's me.**

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_Such a lonely boy_

_Couldn't find the joy within_

_Such a lonely girl, _

_Such a lonely world we're living in_

_I watch it all go by_

_Can't find a tear to cry, _

_A tear to cry_

_A tear to cry_

Peyton sighed at the sight of Lucas and Brooke walking hand in hand across the quad, she wanted to be the girl holding his hand so much that it physically hurt. Looking at him she could see that he probably hadn't slept and was still haunted by that fateful day he lost the only man that was like a father to him and one of his friends, it would be enough to screw with anyone's mind but for her to know that it was Lucas' mind it was screwing up hurt like hell. She wanted to be able to walk over to him and hold him in her arms, comforting him through all of the pain and heartache he was going through, Peyton was a pro when it came to losing a parent. As they walked out of her sight she could feel the presence of another Scott boy by the side of her, her senses were right as she glanced at him and saw that it was none other than Nathan Scott, her ex boyfriend and best friend. All she wanted was to be left alone but of course Nathan already knew that, he was only here to check on her.

'Hey Blondie, you okay?' His voice was etched with concern and as much as she loved him for caring she also hated the way everyone kept asking her that, of course she wasn't okay she was still haunted by that day as much as anyone else was.

'Nate, I'd be better if you stopped asking me that.' She couldn't help the annoyance that crept into every word she spoke, raising an eyebrow Nathan looked at her. She looked like hell, no worse than that, she looked like a victim of a terrible disaster that you saw on the news okay to everyone else she would look okay but to him she looked worse than hell itself. He knew better than to try and speak about it all, she would ask him the question that he knew was coming when she was ready. She was fiddling with her thumbs fighting an inner battle, should she as how Lucas was; would it seem weird if she didn't? Before she could stop her self the question was spilling from her mouth, 'Nate, how is he doing? I mean _really_ doing?' Concern was apparent in her voice and the look in her eyes told Nathan that whatever went on in the library that day had been serious between the two blondes, not once while they were dating had she shown that much concern and passion for him.

'To be honest Peyton I really don't know, I'm sorry I can't tell you more.' Nathan sighed waiting for the lecture he was about to get but it never came instead tears silently flowed down Peyton's face and she appeared more broken than what she had done before.

'How can you not know? He's your brother, is it really that bad? Has he really shut himself off to everyone?' She couldn't believe that Lucas would do that, she refused to believe that there was no one else but her that could reach him but as usual she was being proven wrong. She could feel the walls of the building closing in and not for the first time she felt trapped, she had to get out of here, the school, the memories and the realisation that the connection that she and Lucas had was so deep and so serious had begun to sink in and she felt overwhelmed by it all. Before she knew it she was slowly hobbling away from Nathan and away from her past and to somewhere that was her safe haven away from it all.

Before she knew it she was on the familiar blacktop and making her way over to the familiar white bleachers that stood to one side of the court. She hadn't allowed herself to cry on the way over to the river court and considering the broken state she was in it was an achievement but as she pulled out her black sketch book and her sad, green eyes came to a stop on a piece of paper that depicted the two of them in the library, leant against the shelves her head on his shoulders and his arms around her with the words '_Would you hold it against me if I said I love you?' _Scrawled across the top of the page the tears began to tumble down her face and onto the paper as she was brought back to the emotions and horror of that fateful day.

_It's so obvious how they need each other_

_The wanting bleeding, hurting but they keep it covered _

_Till it's one big lie _

_They can't say hello because they fear goodbyes_

_Well they fear goodbyes, _

_They fear goodbyes_

_***_

_{Flashback}_

Peyton was slumped against a shelving unit her head resting on Lucas' shoulder and she could feel his rough fingers tracing patterns on the top of her hand, it was amazing how safe she felt with him just there especially considering all that was happening. She could feel and hear his heart beating, it was beating so fast and she wondered if this was because he was scared or simply because of the closeness and intimacy of the moment because that's what he did and being this close to him did to her and she wondered if it was the same for him. They say that in the moments before death your life flashes before your eyes, she believed that she was going to die here in his arms like this, the amount of blood that she was losing from the wound in her leg was beginning to make everything hazy and although it wasn't her whole life flashing before her eyes it was the key moments of her and Lucas' relationship, well if you could call it that. She was haunted by memories of the first conversation they had when her car broke down and he came to tow it away, the time in that motel room, Dan's party, they were all hidden, stolen moments that she wouldn't trade for the world and in that moment she realised that this could be the last time she ever sees him or hears his voice or feels his touch on her skin and it's that thought that scares her half to death not the actual thought of death itself. That's what scares her the fact that she is so in love with him that she can't imagine her life without him and it's also the reason she has denied her feelings and tried to bury them so deep that if she lies to everyone else then maybe she'll begin to believe it, but that can never happen because she's Peyton Sawyer and he's Lucas Scott they're the epic tale of love and hardship; and in the library where it's only the two of them no one and nothing else seems to matter.

Her breathing becomes more ragged and she feels as if all of the fight is leaving her, she wants to be strong enough to fight this and live through it hopefully with Lucas but nature seems to be taking its course. She can feel the worry and despair emitting from his body and she wants to be able to say that it'll be okay but she can't bring herself to, in the silence they both dwell on what could have been and how different it all would be. She's so scared that this is it, THE END the dying doesn't matter it's what it will do to the man sat beside her, holding her and trying to save her one last time and through the terror and fear she knows she will never forgive herself if she doesn't say this last thing. She wants him to be able too get over her when she's gone and to know that she loves him and always has, it won't matter if he doesn't say it back she just wants him to know so she can go in peace. She hasn't thought about how awkward it'll be if she lives through this and at this moment in time it doesn't matter it's just two lost souls facing an uncertain enemy.

'Luke,' Her voice is so quiet he has to strain himself to hear it and immediately he knows this is it, the end, her final words and it breaks his heart to know that she'll never get to know how much he loves her and how he wants her by his side when all his dreams come true or even if they don't.

'Shh, Peyt. Just hold on a few more minutes, it'll all be okay I promise you that,' His voice catches and she suppresses a sob, if she thought this was going to be hard before it was going to be ten times harder now.

'Luke, don't make promises you can't keep' Her voice is soft, telling him that she knows he only meant good by his words, 'I need to tell you this Luke, if I don't I'll just regret it and I think I've wasted enough time not saying it.'

'Peyt, don't do this, please.' He made no attempt to hide his tears, he wanted her to know that this would break him and that although she couldn't control it she can still fight it, he took a laboured breath and carried on, 'Because if you do say it, that means it's the end and I don't know if I can live with that. So please, Peyt, don't say it. Hold on in there, nothing will happen to you, I promise.'

Why did he have to make it harder, she knew he didn't mean to but he was saying things that she has always wanted to hear from him, 'Luke I have to, I don't think I'll be able to live with myself if I don't. So please Luke Just let me say it, please.' Her voice was more ragged now and although it broke his heart he let her carry on.

'You're always saving me,' she looks at him with sad eyes and watches as he shakes his head slowly, 'Well somebody's got to.' He mummers, in that moment she knows she has to say it regardless of whether she lives or dies.

'Luke, if I say I love you right now will you hold it against me?' She pauses and watches him take it in, in a last attempt at lightening a sorrowful situation she adds, 'Cause I've lost a lot of blood.' She laughs sadly and every fibre in her body believes that this is it; she knows she can't leave without kissing him one last time.

She tilts her head up and looks into his eyes that hold do much pain and heartbreak for someone so young, she wonders if her eyes reflect the same emotions, she also notices a new emotion flicker in his eyes and realises it's his love for her. She moves closer to him and inhales his scent, cologne and just Lucas she wants to bottle it and keep it forever. Hesitantly she places her lips on his and leaves a chaste kiss there before pulling away, embarrassed at the emotion she felt for him and the emotion that hung around them she speaks, 'Just in case you can't keep your promise.'

_{End Flashback}_

_He don't say much, there aint much to say_

_She waits for his response, she waits all day_

_The world keeps spinning in their silent screams_

_They keep waking in these tired dreams _

She is brought out of the past by the sound of a ball tapping the tarmac and looks up without bothering to wipe her eyes; she expects to see Nathan but is shocked to see its Lucas looking back at her with haunted eyes. The silence that hangs around them is heavy and full of unanswered questions, regrets for unspoken words and sadness that nothing is the same and everything has changed. He stands paralyzed for a moment before he sees the tears staining Peyton's face, and it breaks his heart. Without thinking he slowly walks over to the bleachers and sits next to her placing his arms around her fragile body; wanting to comfort her and be the one that saves her. Breathing in his scent and being this close again causes her to go back to that day and once again she instantly feels safer in the knowledge that he's here and he can heal her.

'Shh Peyt, shh it's all okay. I'm here now shh, don't cry baby.' His voice is soothing and neither of them recognise that he just called her baby, a term used for a girlfriend because for them this seemed natural, it seemed right like coming home on a cold winter's night to a cup of cocoa and a warm fire.

'No it's not Luke, it's not okay. Everything's changed and it'll never be the same.' She despaired, but while she was saying that she remembered the reason she had fled the school. She had been worried about the broody blonde sat in front of her and now he was comforting her it didn't seem right. She knew that he wouldn't like anyone asking if he was okay but hopefully he wouldn't mind her asking after all he tended to open up to her.

'Luke I want to ask you something okay, just promise you won't get mad.' Her voice was etched with concern and he knew what she was about to ask, Nathan, Hayley and Brooke had been asking since the shooting but all they had gotten was an 'I'm fine, promise. Now stop worrying.' But Peyton was different she deserved an answer, a honest one at that and she was going to get it he was tired of pretending it was all okay, he was tired of being the strong one, he nodded at her to continue.

'Luke we're all worried about you. I know the others have asked you this but I'm just hoping you'll tell me how you're really feeling, please just let me in. Are you okay Luke?' She paused and sighed at the broken man in front of her, he looked like he hadn't slept and he looked like he was ready to give up all of the fight had disappeared from him and he was a shell of the man she met two years ago. 'Let me in, please baby.' It must have been her echoing his earlier words but something inside of him snapped and tears silently fell down his face.

He wrapped his arms around her tight, as if he never wanted to let go and she did the same his tears falling onto her t-shirt, they sat there for what seemed like hours but was most probably minutes in silence the realisation that they could have lost the person in front of them hitting home for the first time since that day. 'If I told you I love you right now, would you hold it against me?' He spoke so softly and quietly that she thought she imagined it until he spoke again, this time slightly louder but still quiet as if it was a secret between the two of them. 'Because I do Peyton, I love you and I can't imagine living without you. I'm so glad that you're here in front of me because I couldn't have dealt with losing you too that day.' His voice caught and she rubbed invisible circles on his back, she couldn't believe what she had just heard and she knew he was waiting for a response but she couldn't give it to him not now, it didn't seem right. Time passed with the two of them sitting in each others embrace neither one wanting to let go for the fear of losing the other, the sun began to go down and Peyton was beginning to get cramp in her wounded leg she shuffled and stood.

'Peyt sit back down; please stay with me, please.' He pleaded with her, scared of losing her to the world but he knew that she wouldn't so he stood and walked over to her slowly, carefully as if she were a wounded bird that would take flight as soon as he got too close. He didn't think as he cupped her delicate face with his hands and looked deep into her eyes where he saw a mash up of pain, love, sadness, passion, lust, anger, confusion but out of all of those emotions the one that over rid the others was her love for him and vice versa. She lowered her eyelids in anticipation of his lips on hers and as their lips met it took their breaths away. The kiss started out as innocent and chaste but developed into more, before she knew it his tongue was begging for entrance to her mouth and his hands were placed on her waist, gripping at the fabric of her shirt while hers were lost in his hair. They were lost on the sea of sensations that this brought to them and she never wanted this to end, she could kiss Lucas Scott until the end of time. He moved his mouth from her lips and trailed kisses along her collar bone, stopping to suck on the flesh to make his mark on her; this elicited a breathy moan from her which made him smile against her skin. She giggled a soft laugh and placed her fingers onto his chin, moving him back to her mouth. Slowly she moved down to his jaw line and stopped at the spot only she knew about, he gruffly moaned and this caused her to become very aroused. Their hands were all over each other, caressing and refamilliarising them with each others bodies, she felt his hands move down to her jeans button and she was brought back down to earth with a bump. They couldn't do this, he was Brookes' boyfriend it was all so wrong yet it felt so right, but it couldn't happen despite the love they both shared.

'Luke, Lucas,' He was kissing down her neck and collarbone and all rational thought flew out of her mind for a split second, placing her hands atop his she moved them to in between the two of them, 'Luke, we can't do this.' At the sound of her broken voice he stopped, the first thought that graced his mind was 'Why?' it felt so right but then he remembered Brooke and reality seeped back in.

Looking at him she hoped that he didn't hate her for stopping it, it couldn't happen between them too many people would get hurt. 'I'm sorry Luke, really I am. Sorry.' She mumbled before walking away from the man she loves once again.

_I asked her for the time, she said the timing was off_

_Oh but I got this pain inside, she said it's all you got_

_I got this feeling that time is passing me by _

_I'm a couple years late but I'm here tonight, I'm here tonight_

_Well I'm here tonight_

After what had happened on the river court this afternoon Peyton had decided that she wouldn't go to the party in the school that Brooke was holding. After all that had happened there it didn't seem right and she thought that even Brooke would get that, she could see that it would cause Lucas to crawl even further into his shell and she wondered why Brooke couldn't see it. She sat at her desk doodling on some paper and was listening to a familiar song sung by an old friend when she saw an im pop up on the computer screen, opening it a part of her hoped that it was Lucas and that he understood about this afternoon.

**LScott22:**** Hey Blondie. You not at the party?**

**Psawyer:**** No, didn't feel right. You not there either?**

**LScott22:**** Same here, I miss you.**

**Psawyer:**** Well I'm always here Lucas, you know that.**

**LScott22:**** It's not the same, everything's changed and it aint going back**

Peyton was at a loss on what to say so instead of saying anything she ignored him, meanwhile across town Lucas was getting irritated every time they got close she would hide from it, he knew that it was out of respect for Brooke but he had ended that after the occurance at the river court earlier. But Peyton didn't have a clue obviously, Damn you man he thought angrily to himself. Now the desire to see her had become to strong to ignore he had to explain and hopefully they would somehow manage to become a ray of happiness out of this screwed up reality. Grabbing his keys he paused outside of his mothers room and went to knock but he realised it wouldn't matter to her wether or not he was there, she was too lost in the grief of losing the man she loved. As he drove through town memories of him and Peyton flooded his mind, he was sure she was it, his soul mate, his forever and if she hid from it again he would wait and at least he could live semi-happily knowing he had tried. As he stopped outside of the house he had frequented during the summer it all suddenly felt too unfamiliar and he was scared out of his mind at the rejection he was most likely to receive.

Slowly he stepped out of the car and made his way shakily to the front door, knowing it would be unlocked he took a deep breath and hesitantly opened the door and began to climb the stairs. As he reached the door that would take him to her he paused, his nerves getting the better of him taking a deep breath he slowly opened the door. His breath caught at the sight of Peyton in her sleep shorts and an old hoodie of his, she was stunning even like this and each time he saw her she rendered him breathless. He stood in the door way for a few seconds drinking in the sight of her and memorizing the smells and little details so he could imprint this night onto his brain forever, the night he came back to the woman he loved. He cleared his throat to let her know he was there and couldn't help but smile as she turned to face him with a look of pure confusion and happiness that he was there.

'Luke, what are you doing here? Shouldn't you be with Brooke?' She hated the bitterness that her voice held, but after the encounter earlier at the river court she felt she deserved to feel bitter about the situation they were in.

'Uh, Umm, we broke up.' His voice sounded high and squeaky as if he was petrified of her reaction and he hated it.

'Oh, Luke I'm sorry.' She instantly felt horrible for the tone she had used but couldn't help but think, Lucas is single, where does that leave us and what is he doing here? 'Luke, what are you doing here?' He looked at her before he answered and looked at the painting of him, Peyton and Brooke aiming a gun at his heart as if it was screaming 'Fight for my heart!' and he knew he couldn't back out of telling the truth.

'Peyt, that day at the school when you told me you love me I need to know if you meant it or if you said it because you thought you were going to die and wouldn't get a chance to say it.' He sighed, 'I guess I just need to know because I do Peyton, I love you. I need you in my life, that day I was so scared that I was going to lose you and I couldn't deal with it, I'm so glad that you're here and I couldn't have dealt with losing two of the people I love most that day.' His voice caught on the last few words and they were instantly transported back. She sighed and knew that he had been honest so felt she owed him the truth, there was no point in lying any more life was too short.

'Luke, please don't take this the wrong way, please.' Her eyes pleaded, 'That day I was so scared that it was the end, it sounds strange but I had never felt safer in that library with you. It wasn't the thought of dying that scared me, it was the thought that I may never see you again, never get to hear your voice or feel your touch and I knew then that I had to stop hiding from the lie I had weaved to protect myself from the intensity of the feelings I hold for you. I can't say that a part of me said that because I thought I was going to die because that would be a lie,' She paused looking up at the broken man in front of her she knew she had to carry on, there was no turning back now. 'But, a part of me, a much bigger part said it because I do Luke. I can't imagine ever not having you in my life, I wouldn't be able to live if I lost you. And I was scared of the intensity of my love for you, I've tried my whole life to keep my guard up and not get hurt but you managed to dissolve those barriers. You make me feel safer than I ever have done before, you have the ability to heal me by just being there there's no other man or love that can do that. So if your question is: Do I love you? Then yes I do Luke, you're my soul mate, my forever.'

Throughout her statement she hadn't noticed the lone tear that had escaped and trickled down her cheek. Lucas was speechless, that was all he had ever wanted to hear and now he had heard it, it didn't feel real he was sure he would wake up at any second. He looked into Peyton's soulful green eyes and saw she had tears trickling down her face, slowly he moved closer to her and placed his thumb on her cheek wiping the pain and regret away. He slowed his strokes down and looked at her lips, god he wanted to kiss her so badly. Without thinking he pulled her face up to meet his and gently yet passionately placed his lips on hers, they kissed slowly and chastely. This wasn't about lust, hunger or want it was about two souls colliding and healing one another. As the kiss became more passionate she moved her hands to intertwine with his at their sides and when air became an issue they pulled away keeping close to one another. She moved their intertwined hands to settle on top of her heart, mirroring the night at Dan's party a year ago. They stood there in the middle of her room hands interlaced and just looking at each other, taking in every detail for what seemed like hours but could only have been minutes until Lucas' soft voice broke the silence.

'Peyt, can I stay here tonight?' She wanted to take this slow between them, they had both been hurt badly and what they had was too special to be rushed they had a life time to do it in but looking at his sad blue eyes she understood that he wanted it to and she saw that he was too haunted by that fateful day to go home and listen to his mother's heart breaking sobs.

'Of course you can, Luke. Come here.' She pulled him to her and they made their way over to her bed, as they neared the edge she could feel him tense as if he was unsure but giving him an encouraging nod she felt him relax.

They sunk on her bed facing one another still in disbelief about the nights events, hands still interlaced. Lucas pulled her into him and held her tight, this was all he had ever wanted the woman he loved most beside him. Yawning she could feel sleep creeping in but she had one final question, 'We're going to be okay, aren't we Luke?' His heart broke at that question, he knew he had hurt her badly in the past and he vowed never to do the same again.

'Of course we are Peyt, god I love you so much.' By the sound of her evening breaths he new she had fallen asleep and could feel sleep creeping in too, he took a few moments to memorize the smells, feelings and emotion so he could burn it in his mind. This was how it was meant to be, Lucas Scott and Peyton Sawyer the epic tale of romance, two tortured souls finding a solace and inner peace within each other. He knew that there were apologies and conversations to have on both sides but that could wait, tonight was about two souls finally coming together as one, Peyton Sawyer was his soul mate and forever their love was true, pure and simple and he would never let go.

_He don't say much, there isn't much to say_

_She waits for his response, she waits all day_

_The world keeps spinning in thier silent screams_

_They keep waking in these tired dreams._

_Such a lonely boy_

_Such a lonely girl_

_It's such a lonely world we're living in._

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**So there it is, I'm not sure how well the ending fits with the end of the song. The song words should be right but if anyone notices any ones that are wrong please let me know. Please let me know what you think and thanks for reading.  
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